Have you ever had a ‘Eureka’ moment? They’re fantastic aren’t they? I had one on Sunday. I’ve decided to become a full-time writer and comper. Let me explain.

I haven’t done any paid work for quite a while. Two miscarriages and the resulting mental health problems have severely dented my confidence. On top of that a pre-existing medical problem has resurfaced. I have psoriasis on the soles of my feet and my palms.

Many years ago, after years of visits to doctors & specialists, I decided to blow £400 of my student loan on Chinese Medicine. Three weeks of acupuncture, herbal foot baths and numerous pills later I was amazed.  I could finally walk and pick up a pen without tearing the skin. The accompanying depression lifted and I got my life back.

Four years later  it’s back, hardly surprising really given the battering my health has taken recently. So I’m on a mission to raise the money for more treatment. But how?


I’m going to enter competitions, pray I win and sell the prizes or, in the case of writing competitions, bank any prize money I get.

Of course, there are no guarantees that my plan will work, you may even think I’m a bit of a dreamer, but what’s the alternative? If I do nothing I may never be able to hold down a job again. Who wants to employ someone who can barely walk?

At least this way I can claw back some dignity, find some enthusiasm and I’ll have hope. It’s got to be better than the half-life I’m living now. 🙂




She still breathes within us

 Her form shall not diminish

 In our hearts

 She still lives within us

 Her presence will remain

 In our souls

 She is the honour

 Bestowed upon us


Baby Steps

Life turns on the spin of a coin. Despite our best efforts we cannot control everything. The only thing we can really do is accept what has already happened and move forward.

 It is the inability, not the ability to accept, that is the weakness. By denying what is we poison our souls. How is that the stronger way?

Acceptance is not a failure, it is a step toward the future. Take it gladly.

Forgive me.

Oh my poor, neglected blog. I’m so sorry that the pressures of the mundane have come between us. Will you ever forgive me?

I promise I will be more attentive to your needs and give you a makeover for 2010. My frustratingly long absences will become a thing of the past and I have some new ideas to spice up our relationship.

There, there my darling blog…weep no more. I’ve come home.


My Christmas…Raw!!!

I begin with a heavy heart. I wont apologise. I miss Sam. He should have been here . He’s dead…end of. Don’t give me your sympathy or words of wisdom,it makes no difference. Excuse my spelling mistakes and my bitterness. I will not harness my feelings just to make you feel better. What I will give you is this… live, just that…LIVE.!!!

I have so much to live for and have so much crap  I have left behind. I feel better for it …but….when you face unnecessary loss it is so hard.

OK …enough. Give your loved ones a tighter hug soon…and don’t let Christmas be the excuse.

P.S This is the song that breaks my heart but encapsulates what I feel about my son. Don’t click this link.

and the winner is……

Natalie P won the Thunder and Blood novel signed by Stacey Voss herself. The winning name was drawn out of Nicks favourite camel shaped mug that he lusted after in Tunisia. I gave the honours to Pesky Kid who, though reluctant at first, was easily bribed with a chunk of milk chocolate.

Thank you to everyone else who entered, you made this experience a lot of fun. I hope one day that I will be giving away a signed copy of my own book and that, once again, you will all place your bids in excited anticipation. That is if we all live that long. 🙂

‘Thunder And Blood’ Book Giveaway

Stoker meets Orwell

Recently I had the pleasure of reading Thunder and Blood, a novel by Canadian author Stacey Voss.

It’s the story of two sisters, Sarah and Christine, who set off on a weekend away in an attempt to distance themselves from their personal problems. However, they soon find themselves caught up in a mysterious fog, become separated and are plunged into an alternate history, an alternate history where Vampires are indeed real.

Thunder and Blood touches on important and contemporary issues including the abuse of power, genocide and interracial love. In this new world blood has become the currency, replacing money (oil?). The author raises the Vampire above the stereotypical view giving them complex and all too familiar personalities. By the end of the book one has to question just how different this world is to the one we live in today.

I have a signed copy to give away to one lucky person. All you have to do is visit Stacey’s site here

and tell me what is the name of Staceys’ favourite coffee then leave your comment/answer on my blog.

The winner will be chosen on Thursday 19th November at 12pm (GMT), it’s open to all, names will be placed in a hat and one winner chosen by Pesky Kid (who says that he is open to bribes of chocolate). 🙂

Good Luck



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