Keeping it real.

Progress was made in the Boardman household this weekend as we all sat down to a Fathers Day dinner. N and I discussed the ramifications of our lost coupledom and the possible effects on our son.

What became clear was that we still have a good friendship which is in fact what we began with before we entered into a relationship. Coupled with our determination to be the best parents possible for Alex this made the sometimes sticky subject of ‘access’ much easier than usual. A child needs both parents wherever possible.

I am the non-resident parent of two wonderful girls from a former marriage and have experienced first hand what damage the bitterness between former spouses can have on the relationships with our children. I’ve had five years of coping with peoples prejudice against ‘absent mums’ and of fighting to secure regular contact with my daughters.

N came from a ‘broken’ home and was the victim of his mothers grim determination to turn all her children against their father. Contact was made as difficult and as stressful as possible for him and has had a big impact on how he now views relationships.

The story does have a happy ending though. I now enjoy regular contact with my girls and they are blossoming into smart, well-rounded young ladies. N has a very good relationship with his father whom he sees regularly and who plays an active role in our sons life.

Bearing all this in mind we have decided that there will be no outside involvement, no lining the pockets of solicitors, no court hearings. We are adults and we are parents. We can by working together ensure that Alex will not become some pawn in an egotistical battle.

As for N and I, we still care deeply about each other and have mutual respect. More importantly we are communicating. It’s a good starting point in any situation.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kevsparrow
    Jun 21, 2010 @ 09:18:12

    This is an interesting piece. I just wish I had that sort of relationship with my ex, although I do see my kids nearly every weekend. But we dont speak.


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