Family Friendly…???

Now I may possibly be slightly behind the times here but I recently discovered that there are a sizable number of friends and acquaintances who live “apart”. This is due to financial pressures and, in this climate, I can’t say I blame them. My partner (who works full time) and I sat down and worked out the advantages of myself working part time. I refuse to work full time we both feel our son is too young to spend 40+ hours in Childcare. The upshot is that we would be a lot worse off.

We rent our home, we don’t own a car, we already have a debt management plan and our social life barely registers on any scale. We drink occasionally(Sainsbury’s own brand red wine @ £2.50 per bottle) and we eat cheaply, but well. If we aspire to anything more than this then the only alternative is to hand our son over to state care and spend years feeling guilty about it.

Those that have chosen to live apart do not do so out of greed, I see no evidence of champagne or tins of beluga caviar in their recycling bins, but out of sheer necessity. It enables them to either avoid crippling debt or to pay off their debts quicker and be able to fund little Johnny’s growth spurt that required three pairs of shoes in one month.

The point is that it is a travesty when families are forced to live in this manner. We were all brought up to believe that hard work brought stability or was I just dreaming that bit?

My partner and I considered our options and, whilst we can see the financial advantages of living apart, we are also committed to raising our son together. God knows, I already know the pain of being a part-time parent.

So we will continue to use sites such as Gumtree and Free-cycle, we will happily support our local charity shops and I will endeavour to make 16 meals from 1 chicken. Hopefully one day the Government, whichever party that might be, will find it in their hearts to play fair and pass some Family Friendly policies.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Debbie Schubert
    Sep 13, 2009 @ 15:31:59

    Love your blog! Glad I found it (through Twitter!). Heartfelt, genuine writing – just what I love. All the best to you! 😉


  2. DOT
    Sep 13, 2009 @ 15:51:23

    I feel for you.

    I now have grandchildren and was fortunate enough to be a high earner when my girls were growing up.

    My daughter, as you, struggles financially to raise her children. I am not sure anything has changed over the centuries. The poor are always among us.


  3. Gayle Pettifer
    Oct 03, 2009 @ 23:49:59

    On the flip side, I was penalised for not having kids. When my husband died I found I could not claim any widows pension as I was under the age of 45 and do not have children. This means that the N.I. payments he made for 35 years were just wiped out. He’d be turning in his grave if he hadn’t been cremated!I’m not moaning as I’m in a better financial position than many but it does seem that you never beat “the system.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: