Life turns on the spin of a coin. Despite our best efforts we cannot control everything. The only thing we can really do is accept what has already happened and move forward.
It is the inability, not the ability to accept, that is the weakness. By denying what is we poison our souls. How is that the stronger way?
Acceptance is not a failure, it is a step toward the future. Take it gladly.
Oh my poor, neglected blog. I’m so sorry that the pressures of the mundane have come between us. Will you ever forgive me?
I promise I will be more attentive to your needs and give you a makeover for 2010. My frustratingly long absences will become a thing of the past and I have some new ideas to spice up our relationship.
There, there my darling blog…weep no more. I’ve come home.
:-)
I begin with a heavy heart. I wont apologise. I miss Sam. He should have been here . He’s dead…end of. Don’t give me your sympathy or words of wisdom,it makes no difference. Excuse my spelling mistakes and my bitterness. I will not harness my feelings just to make you feel better. What I will give you is this… live, just that…LIVE.!!!
I have so much to live for and have so much crap I have left behind. I feel better for it …but….when you face unnecessary loss it is so hard.
OK …enough. Give your loved ones a tighter hug soon…and don’t let Christmas be the excuse.
P.S This is the song that breaks my heart but encapsulates what I feel about my son. Don’t click this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR9m1QU7nKI
Natalie P won the Thunder and Blood novel signed by Stacey Voss herself. The winning name was drawn out of Nicks favourite camel shaped mug that he lusted after in Tunisia. I gave the honours to Pesky Kid who, though reluctant at first, was easily bribed with a chunk of milk chocolate.
Thank you to everyone else who entered, you made this experience a lot of fun. I hope one day that I will be giving away a signed copy of my own book and that, once again, you will all place your bids in excited anticipation. That is if we all live that long. 
Stoker meets Orwell
Recently I had the pleasure of reading Thunder and Blood, a novel by Canadian author Stacey Voss.
It’s the story of two sisters, Sarah and Christine, who set off on a weekend away in an attempt to distance themselves from their personal problems. However, they soon find themselves caught up in a mysterious fog, become separated and are plunged into an alternate history, an alternate history where Vampires are indeed real.
Thunder and Blood touches on important and contemporary issues including the abuse of power, genocide and interracial love. In this new world blood has become the currency, replacing money (oil?). The author raises the Vampire above the stereotypical view giving them complex and all too familiar personalities. By the end of the book one has to question just how different this world is to the one we live in today.
I have a signed copy to give away to one lucky person. All you have to do is visit Stacey’s site here http://www.thunderandblood.com/content/My_Blog/
and tell me what is the name of Staceys’ favourite coffee then leave your comment/answer on my blog.
The winner will be chosen on Thursday 19th November at 12pm (GMT), it’s open to all, names will be placed in a hat and one winner chosen by Pesky Kid (who says that he is open to bribes of chocolate).
Good Luck
Kate
X
Last night I attended Script Factor at the York Theatre Royal. Five budding playwrights battled it out with their 15 minute scripts upon the theme of Brief Encounter…and I got to play a part.
Let me rephrase that…I got VOLUNTEERED to play a part. So there I was on stage, a script shaking in my hand waiting for the moment when ‘Customer 2, Scene 2′ had to speak. Worse still, I had to speak in a posh accent, no mean feat from this broad Yorkshire lass. Anyway, I did it and was happy not to be booed offstage.
Later in the bar a group of ladies overheard me jokingly chastising Nic for throwing me in at the deep end. They voiced their surprise and told me that they had assumed I was part of the acting group as (in their words) I was so professional. What a wonderful compliment that was in fact, I’m still smiling now.
And the point of this tale?
Life sometimes throws us unexpected challenges that scare the bejesus out of you. Take a chance, go for it because you might just find that you really, really enjoy it.
I must go now, Stephen Spielberg is on the other line…….
Yesterday marked my 41st birthday and I reflected upon my life so far. I thought about my journey, my achievements and my place in the universe…then quickly dived into a vat of wine to numb the depression. I soon rallied though as a surge of unexpected optimism entered my veins.
It came to me as I lay soaking in the bath. The bathroom light had packed up again so I was surrounded by scented candles. A poem was formulating in my head (bear with me please there is a point to this). Unfortunately I did not have the foresight to take pen and paper into the bathroom but the crux of the poem was as follows.
Many people in my past have used the tool of words to lash me but they are gone now. However, I have taken up their weapons into my own hands and carried on their work. I carry the instruments of torture inside myself and ritually abuse my own creativity. There is a devil on my shoulder pouring vitriol in my ear and yet, I have come to realise that I do not have to keep it there. I have the ability to brush this devil off my shoulder forever and hurl those weapons into the abyss. And that is exactly what I have done…right now. See…there it all goes, screaming as it falls into a bottomless pit.
I suspect that there are many who could tell the same sorry tale and I also suspect that most can, like me, can heal their wounds. It doesn’t matter at what age we choose to begin to live…as long as we DO live. And I mean really LIVE!!!
Here endeth the lesson.
November is National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo to the initiated) and I’ve set myself up for the challenge. 30 days of writing to produce (hopefully) a 50,000 word masterpiece. OK, maybe not a masterpiece but nonetheless it will be an exciting challenge.
I begin this latest project against a backdrop of chaos. Come to think of it, when is my life ever anything else? My financial situation remains dire, my partner is moving out, I hit 41 soon and what would have been Sams’ due date is looming. NaNoWriMo is an opportunity to distance myself from all this for a few hours a day. I’m hoping it will be a much-needed confidence boost and, of course, it isn’t going to cost me a penny (just a lot of blood, sweat and tears).
I’ve outlined my plot, done some basic research and bought myself an 8 cup cafetiere, an essential item that will save time and electricity. My kettle deserves a break too. With any luck I will come out of this month with a sense of achievement and renewed confidence which will balance out the writers bum and repetitive strain injury.
So it’s onwards and upwords (sic). I would like to say good luck to all my fellow NaNoWriMo participants and see you all at the finishing line.
Kate
XXX
Some days you feel as though there really are Greek Gods sat up in the heavens playing with the lives of us mere mortals like pieces on a chess board.
To quote Dr Who, the Boardman household is currently in a ’state of flux’. Technology is failing. One laptop, one PC and a DVD player committed group suicide in the same week. OK, an inquest into the DVDs’ demise did conclude an accidental death. It was fed a sandwich by Pesky Kid.
The loss of our beloved computers has forced me to question my status as a writer. For days I was stuck, how could I possibly write without my keyboard and blank screen? What is the point of life without a spellchecker? ‘For gods’ sake,’ screams my resourceful side, ‘did Jane Austen bemoan the absence of a cut and paste facility’? ’Was Shakespeares’ output hampered by his inability to write in Times New Roman, font size 12 with double spacing’?
Perhaps I ought to rethink my approach. After all, there is something inherently appealing about sitting in *El Piano with pencil and a writing journal, sipping hot chocolate whilst feverishly writing a masterpiece. Of course, I will have to make the hot chocolate last a while in the spirit of that genteel poverty that makes the life of a writer/poet seem somewhat romantic.
That is until the insurance cheque arrives and I rush out to buy my Samsung NC10 Netbook. My romanticism swiftly and cruelly abandoned for the whoredom of 21st Century technology.
*El Piano: a shabby chic, vegetarian cafe in York. Has the most wonderful ambience and the best Fair Trade hot chocolate ever tasted.
Last week saw a definite upturn in my social calendar. A Launch Party for Confident Ladies, a Virtual Book Tour with Stacey Voss in the offing and a weekend spent in the company of my wonderful rugrats. Then… ‘Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am’, I was hit by a merciless bug.
Sunday became a blur through seemingly endless rounds of coughs, sneezes and sweating bouts. Monday wasn’t much better. On Tuesday I picked myself up long enough to attend a lovely meet up with Jools from Writebuzz only to relapse the same night. All hopes of this being a 24 hour bug were dashed.
My frustration is exacerbated by the ever growing back log of reviews, promotions and submissions I had intended to clear. My partner had two precious days off work which he spent bringing me endless hot drinks and medication. It wasn’t quite the ‘family time’ we had planned.
In the grand scheme of things, a heavy cold is hardly a tragedy. Today I read of a tsunami in Samoa where a toddler is missing and almost 100 have been people killed. Yes, I’m poorly and non-productive at the moment but at least I can retreat to the safety of my duvet and rely on the loving care of my wonderful family and friends.
Every so often we all need to stop for a moment, to look at what we really have and remind ourselves how lucky we are.
